Probably the coolest thing ever

CLICK TO EMBIGGEN/START.

Peter Parker is a whiny bitch

"Hi, Peter Parker? Yeah, hi, it's me, Dave."
"Hi Dave. Uh, what's up?"
"Well, Peter, I have been thinking. I know that your life is really hard and stuff, but I think that you might be less poor and broke and unhappy all the time if you used your awesome super-powers to hold down a job other than 'cub photographer for newspaper run by raving lunatic who hates my alter-ego.' Or at least joined the paying Avengers."
"But that runs entirely counter to all of my principles. When my uncle died I realized that with great power comes great responsibility, which is why I live my life in service to community, science, and family."
"Which is why you're constantly unhappy."
"My happiness is unimportant."
"Oh, I beg to differ my friend - "
"Besides, I am happy! I love being a scientist. I get to fuck Mary Jane Parker. My Aunt May is much less boring than she is in the movies. Well, okay, not *much* less boring. But she's pretty cool for an old broad."
"And your best friend, who happens to be the son of your greatest enemy (who killed your first, kind of hotter girlfriend, if only because she was pre-JMS less slutty) went crazy and became your fifth or sixth worst enemy. And then your new best friend (who might be a Skrull) turned out to be a megalomaniacal "futurist" who decided for mostly incoherent reasons that a superhero registration program was totally not fascist, and then convinced you to give up your heretofore precious secret identity. Which led to your still totally boring Aunt getting shot. Wow."
"You know, I'm beginning to wonder what the point is of listening to you go on and on about how crappy my life is, Dave."
"Well, that isn't how I meant for this to go. I meant to let you know that you should cheer up. That your life isn't actually as bad as it seems. But you know what?"
"What, Dave?"
"You do actually totally need a reboot."
*Click*

I am a pretty bad person

Because I think that it is kind of hilarious that Robert Jordan died before finishing The Wheel of Time.

For those of who are not really into fantasy books, The Wheel of Time is a really long series of books (so far there are 11 in the actual series, averaging something like 700 pages each of harder-than-Harry-Potter prose, and a few side projects) about dragons and knights and magic and shit. I haven't actually read any of them, but I know people who have. My first boyfriend had actually read all of them, as I recall. I bet he's pretty sad today, because Robert Jordan died well before finishing up the 12th book (which was supposed to have been the final one - even if it had to be 1500 pages long, he claimed).

Like I said: I'm a bad person. But I have actually long wondered what would happen to the pure geeks of the world if Jordan never got around to finishing the series (which, not so incidentally, kind of reeked of a shell game to me - "Sure guys, I promise this will have an ending. Really, totally! Just wait for the next book"). I guess now we will find out.

RIP Robert Jordan. I bet a lot of people are hoping that members of your family (to whom you allegedly disclosed the ending before your death) are passable writers.

I'm going to hell.

The science of sleep

I'm really tired today. Like bleary, feel like I took speed yesterday and spent all night chewing on filters tired. Which is weird. Because I didn't. I had a glass of wine and copulated and watched some silly television, all of which would indicate Sleep Like Baby. But no. Tossing and turning and waking up and watching the sun rise, watching the buildings across the river light up delicately until they became hot gold and left oxidization stains on my eyelids. Almost worth it. But yeah, I'm not going to be very productive, I don't think, today.